Be Slow To Speak
In today’s fast-paced world being quiet or “slow to speak’’ can often be misinterpreted as a sign of weakness. You need to shout if you want to be heard; the louder you are, the more likely you are to be noticed, and the more confident you appear. Logically speaking, it makes perfect sense. However, the Bible takes the opposite approach; we are literally instructed to be “slow to speak”.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are times when speaking up is very important; Ecclesiastes chapter 3 teaches us that for everything there is a season; in verse 7 it goes on to say that there is ‘a time to speak’. It’s easy to remember that verse, especially when we feel wronged; we want to speak up for ourselves, we think, ‘‘if I don’t talk now they will think they can just walk all over me’’. We forget that the verse actually says, “a time to be quiet and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7, NLT).
A time to be quiet.
How easy it is to gloss over that part. Isn’t it interesting how the quiet part comes before the speaking part in that verse? I think Solomon, in his God-given wisdom, put it that way for a reason, a time of quiet should always come before the time of speaking. Proverbs warns that “sin is unavoidable when there is too much talk” (Proverbs 10:19, GW), with such a stark warning ringing in our ears we can start to appreciate how vitally important that time of quiet is.
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry” (James 1:19, NLT).
So, we’ve already established the fact that we are to be quiet before we speak, now James is charging us to also be quick to listen. We are not staying quiet before speaking, just for the sake of being quiet, we might as well just be pausing for breath before running our mouth, it defeats the purpose and achieves nothing in the end. Now, I will admit that sometimes, simply pausing and taking a deep breath is all you need to calm down and stop yourself from making that cutting remark. However, we can also admit that this method doesn’t always work, but what if we tried it James’ way? In our quietness, what if we were quick to listen? I mean, really listen. Listen to the still small voice. Listen and understand what is really going on before we react, instead of jumping to hasty conclusions. Remember that in Proverbs 18 it states, “fools have no interest in understanding, they only want to air their own opinions” (Proverbs 18:28, NLT).
After being quick to listen, we have to be slow to speak. We need to take the time to think before speaking. Is this worth responding to? What should my response be? Will it cause more harm than good?
Sometimes, not always, but sometimes, it might be more prudent to say nothing at that moment. You can revisit the matter at a later date when all parties involved are a lot calmer and can discuss the matter respectfully.
Going back to Proverbs 10:19, it finishes off by declaring that, “whoever seals his lips is wise”. That is something we should always bear in mind, because our tongues are very powerful. I’m sure we are all familiar with James chapter 3 and it’s warnings about the tongue, if you are not, it’s a chapter worth reading. I wanted to highlight verse 2, where it states that, “if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way” (James 3:2, NLT). Let that sink in for a moment.
The popular phrase goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. We can all attest to the falsity of this claim, words do hurt, sometimes even more than sticks and stones. Words, once uttered cannot be taken back and they can leave a lasting impact. So let’s carefully consider our words before we speak, let us be slow to speak.
Finally, I wanted to briefly touch on Proverbs 17, which asserts that, “even fools are thought wise when they keep silent, with their mouths shut they seem intelligent” (Proverbs 17:28, NLT). There you have it, if all else fails, if you have nothing useful to say, just remain silent. You’ll do a lot more damage by opening your mouth in that moment to speak than you will by keeping your mouth shut. Being slow to speak is not a sign of weakness but a sign of great wisdom and strength. Something we are instructed to do, something that is praised in the bible.
It is definitely not easy to do, and not something we always remember in the heat of the moment. I pray God helps us remember to be quick to listen and slow to speak, in Jesus name, Amen.
