Choose To Love

I have been reading about relationships, marriage and family topics for the past few months. One recurring theme that links all these topics and conversations around them together is love. If there’s anything that sounds so good yet difficult to attain, it is love in its genuine and purest form. Love in its purest form is divine. Every functional human being responds positively to love and craves to be loved. How we respond to and interpret love may differ, but at our core, we don’t want to be treated with indifference. We want to be loved.

Love is a force for good, and frankly, some of the amazing things you see in the world today were inspired by love, from medical inventions to tools and resources that make life easier for us. As recent as January 2022, the popular online game Worlde became an internet sensation. It was created by a software engineer who initially made it for his partner. It was reported he sold the game to the New York Times in an undisclosed seven-figure deal. A game he created for his partner, inspired by love, snowballed into something bigger than anything he could have imagined. You can’t quantify the impact love has on our lives, relationships and the world today.

One of the reasons it is difficult for some of us to consistently stay true to such a lofty virtue of love is because our flesh is inherently selfish and looks out only for itself. We only tend to love committedly if/when we know we will get something out of it. More like when you consistently feed animals, and they get excited when they see you. You might be quick to interpret their excitement as love for you, but the reality is they love that you give them treats and feed them. They’ll transfer that “love” to a stranger who gives them treats and food down the road. Love, according to Scripture, is a command, and we have a choice to obey or disobey this command. We are not commanded or called to love because of what we will receive or get out of it. We are commanded to love because God is Love.

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is Love. -1 John 4:7-8, NLT

Love comes from God, and your knowledge of God can be tested by how you love. Anyone who loves is a child of God. Not anyone who goes to church, not anyone who sings worship songs, not anyone who prays, not anyone who speaks in tongues, not anyone who studies the bible, not anywho who has faith, and not anyone who gives to the poor. The criteria for a true knowledge of God is love. You can’t genuinely seek the knowledge of God and ignore what defines Him.

This is my command: Love each other. -John 15:17, NIV

I have seen many debates about who we are commanded to love unconditionally or who Christ was talking to when he commanded us to love. In John 15, Jesus was speaking to the disciples. However, if you doubt that we are to love all people at all times, see what Jesus said in Matthew 5:43 – 48, NLT.

You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbour’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

If we are commanded to love our enemies, then no one should be outside the reach of our love. Every time you explore the topic of love, it always feels like you have never loved. We can’t all say we have fully loved or attained perfect love in our relationships with men. This tells us that there’s always room for improvement regarding the command of love. When we love how God wants us to love, we reflect the love God shared with us. God’s love for us is perfect, pure, unconditional and sacrificial. It is the highest form of love we can ever know or experience. This means all other kinds of genuine love spring from this love. Theologians call this Agape Love, the love described in John 3:16.

The love expected of us is the love that takes the front seat; it’s the kind of love that reaches out first. It’s not the love that sits back or waits for reciprocity.

So how does God want us to love? God wants us to love genuinely, unconditionally and sacrificially. The love expected of us is the love that takes the front seat; it’s the kind of love that reaches out first. It’s not the love that sits back or waits for reciprocity. This kind of love is God’s way of making us grow. This love makes us die to our flesh and breeds a humble heart in us.

At this point, I do not know what kind of love is on your mind. I don’t want to get into the details of the different types of love. Whatever love is on your mind right now or whatever love you share in your relationships with your spouse, family, friends, brethren, strangers, etc., be committed to keeping that love alive. Keep loving wholeheartedly.

We will not always feel like loving, and sometimes we won’t feel like loving the way we should. Whatever state we find ourselves in, we should not forget that to love is a choice. Sometimes the recipient of our love may not understand it, they may not see it, appreciate it or may abuse it. During those times, we should never forget that their actions or inactions shouldn’t determine the nature of our love for God, them or others. We can pray and continually ask God to teach us how to love patiently. We can always ask God to make the recipient of our love see Him reflected in our actions. We can ask God to teach us how those around us want to be loved. We can ask God to give us opportunities to love and share His love with people. Be prepared for the answers because God will answer them; when He does, take action where necessary.

If you have a few moments, read 1 Corinthians 13. It is one of the most profound chapters about love in the bible. Choose to love because God is love.

Prayer: Dear Lord, just as you have shared your love in my heart, help me to reach others with your love. Let those around me see and experience your love in their lives through my actions. Amen.