Responding To The Weakness of Your Parents

I’ve always loved the story of Noah in the scriptures. Ever since I was a little girl I would imagine the hard work Noah put into building the ark given that he didn’t have the machinery we have access to today. Anyway, Noah obeyed God. In faith, he built the ark and the flood destroyed the world and all those who rejected God. The only people in the ark were Noah and his family. Can you imagine how much Noah would have inspired his three sons –Shem, Ham and Japheth? Noah faithfully and consistently followed God’s one command over a process that took many years. Imagine watching what your father said would happen many years ago actually happen. Shem, Ham and Japheth would have considered Noah not only a man of God but their hero, an example to be emulated.

When Noah and his family eventually got out of the ark the story takes on a different tone. In Genesis 9:20 we see how he falls into drunkenness. He was so drunk that his clothes came off and he openly slept naked. This simply reminds us that regardless of the mighty things God does through us as His people, we can fall if we are not vigilant. The bible does not hide the sins of God’s people. Noah inspires us as a man of faith, a man who persevered and obeyed, but Genesis 9:20 also reminds us that we are but flesh and must be vigilant and careful of stumbling.

Let’s take a look at how Noah’s three sons responded to this situation. In Genesis 9:22 Ham, Noah’s youngest son, sees Noah in this state and then mocks Noah as a father and as a man of God as he rushes to expose Noah’s shame to his brothers Shem and Japheth. According to David Guzik’s commentary on this ‘literally, the ancient Hebrew says that Ham “told with delight” what he saw in his father’s tent’. He was determined to mock his father and undermine his authority as a man of God. Ham seems to completely disregard all that God had accomplished through his father in the building of the ark. In that moment, he forgot how his dad was an example, his hero and someone to be honoured.

But let’s take notice of how Shem and Japheth responded when Ham tells them of their father’s state. Shem and Japheth, just like Ham, could have peeked into the tent and mocked their father. But instead, they do everything to preserve the dignity of their father by walking backward while holding a blanket so they could cover their father’s nakedness.  There is so much that we can learn from Shem’s and Japheth’s response.  Shem and Japheth honoured Noah, despite his failure as a good fatherly example and man of God. They may have been disappointed in Noah, their hero. They just witnessed a flood, they had followed their father and witnessed God’s power. But not too long after the miracle their ‘hero and example’ falls into sin. However, the honour and love they had in their hearts for their father moved them to cover his shame, rather than expose or mock him.

1 Peter 4:8b love covers over a multitude of sins (NIV)

Appreciate your parents for what they have been able to do rather than emphasizing their inadequacies or failures. Just like Shem and Japheth, preserve the dignity of your parents. I am not saying they are perfect, because they are not. But don’t bash them with hurtful words. It won’t solve the problem. Instead, respond with grace and love.

So the question to ask yourself is how do you respond when your parents fail and fall short of the standards you expect them to reach? First of all, never forget that God is the only perfect father and mother we have. This understanding will help you extend grace to your parents. We are quick to bite, attack and condemn when our parents make decisions that are simply below par. But extend grace, just like Shem and Japheth, seek out what you can do to help your parent. Noah blessed Shem and Japheth when he woke up and found out that they had honoured him in the midst of his failure. In the same vein, you attract blessings when you honour your parents in spite of their failures, weakness and mistakes.

There are people who have been disappointed by the sins and bad decisions of their parents (both saved and unsaved). The sins and bad decisions of your parents may discourage you, yes. But it should not turn your heart away from respecting them and following the Lord by honoring them. Do you sit around moaning all day about what your parents did wrong? Have you grown bitter over it? Take out time to discuss your disappointments with your parents. It’s not up to you whether they listen or not, but you can respectfully speak where necessary. It is very likely that Shem and Japheth brought what happened to the attention of Noah. I assume that’s how he found out what actually happened the previous night because he was too drunk to be aware of his surroundings. 

Ephesians 6:2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise) (ESV)

Avoid mocking and pulling your parents down because of their failure. Instead, respect, cover and speak to them where you can. You may not get the outcome you desire when you honour, respect and cover the weakness of your parents. However, you have kept the word of God and you have positioned yourself to attract blessings. I pray you will be blessed for it not only by your parents but by God also.